I Swore I’d Never Do This Again

I’m doing things a little differently this time around.

Yesterday, while working on all the behind-the-scenes publishing things for Happily Ever Afterlife, I logged into my old Amazon author account and saw Deadly Deception and Revelation for the first time in years. And it was surreal.

Those books came out thirteen or fourteen years ago. I was a completely different version of myself then, partly because I’ve grown and partly because my brain has literally been rewired by a stroke and by grief. I don’t even know that woman anymore. 

And when I stopped writing all those years ago, I swore I would never do this again. Yet here I am at forty-six, getting ready to release another book on the Autumn Equinox. 

And I can practically hear my dad saying, “You need to make it a big deal.”

So, Dad, I am.

Part of making it a big deal meant finding something wonderful to wear for my book release and for the events and signings that will come afterward. And because Happily Ever Afterlife is so deeply rooted here, I knew I wanted to shop local.

This book belongs to this little corner of the world. Sioux Falls is in its pages. Andersson Township may be fictional, but pieces of it come from the small South Dakota towns my family grew up in and the places I grew up visiting. My roots are here.

My dad and his memories are here.

So off Phil and I went to Terra Shepherd Boutique & Apothecary in downtown Sioux Falls, where I had the absolute pleasure of working with Charlie. And let me tell you, Charlie understood the assignment.

I explained what I was looking for, and within minutes, dresses, skirts, tops, and entire looks started appearing. Charlie understood my style, my body, and, more importantly, how I wanted to feel when I walked into these events. Not hidden or uncomfortable, but me.

Maybe with a little Nora Robertson mixed in. Maybe with a little Nora Robertson mixed in.

I wasn’t feeling my best physically that day. Sometimes making plans with a body that doesn’t always cooperate means crossing your fingers and hoping that when the day arrives, you’ll actually be able to do the thing. I was probably operating at about 55%.

But damn it, I wanted to do this.

Phil came with me, helped when I needed him, and cheered me on while Charlie made the entire experience feel easy, fun, and special. And I left with two gorgeous dresses, a beautiful skirt, and this strange little feeling that keeps sneaking up on me lately:

Holy crap. I’m really doing this again.

Except this time, I’m letting myself celebrate it.

Thank you to Terra Shepherd Boutique & Apothecary, owner Sara Jamison, and especially Charlie for taking such wonderful care of me. You made me feel beautiful, understood, and genuinely excited for everything that’s coming.

This whole book has been about roots. Grief. Home. Love. Starting over when you thought that part of your life was finished.

It seems only right that bringing it into the world is becoming a little love letter to home, too.

September 22. Autumn Equinox.

We’re making it a big deal, Dad.